Microbiology, Immunology & Pathology
Volume 6, Issue 12
Top Ten MIP Predictions for the next decade
- Ric Slayden will appear on the reality TV series ‘Survivor’ only to be voted off the island in the fourth episode when it will be discovered that he was secretly sequencing everyone’s genome without permission and that he didn’t pay the rent for his hut to the show’s IDRC equivalent.
- Kristy Pabilonia will win a Pullet-zer prize for her work.
- Ed Hoover’s lab will discover the CWD prion in reindeer, prompting the canceling of Christmas in 32 states without indigenous CWD disease. Investing money in the dreidel manufacturing sector today will thus yield large dividends by 2020.
- In 2019, the MIPnews will officially run out of inane jokes to make using photos of newly appointed University Distinguished Professor (and all around good sport) Dr. Basaraba.
- As a cost saving measure, CSU will switch to once a year office trash/recycling pick up, prompting most MIP offices to take on that classic Carlson/Thrall look.
- In 2017, ignoring the advice (and snickers) from the faculty, new Department Head Alan Schenkel will change the Department’s acronym to ‘IMP’
- Frustrated by years of frugality due to persistent cuts in the state budget, in 2015 the MIP Office will start charging wayward visitors for directions on how to get to locations in the Micro Bldg.
- Reflecting the growing interdisciplinary nature of biological research and teaching, in 2019 all four CVMBS Departments (MIP, CS, BMS and EHRS) will merge to form the BMCMIPEHRS Department. This move will lead the following year to an official university-wide ban on acronyms.
- In 2018, a group of CSU Micro majors will go to Washington and meet with President Schwarzenegger to rally for microbial rights.
- Breakthroughs by MIP researchers will lead to effective treatments/cures for tuberculosis, leprosy, dengue, and a variety of biodefense agents. No joke!